Why I’ve moved to taking bookings by text
Dear punters. The best way to get a booking with me is to call me, as per every advert I run. It’s the quickest way to get what you want.
I understand however that sometimes you might call and my phone rings out – because I’m otherwise engaged, or driving. Or maybe you’re at work and want to arrange something but can’t speak. Totally fine.
What you need to do, is to address me like a human being who is running a professional service. Tell me your name, ask me if I have availability at the time and date you want. Ask me about a specific service. Address me by name.
Even if you’re on PAYG with a limited number of texts, you still get 160 damn characters for every text. That’s plenty of scope to actually talk like a human, not a randy ape who is just mashing the keyboard.
Dude, you are never getting an answer.
You know on WhatsApp you can add a status? And you know mine says “I don’t answer WhatsApp messages”? Don’t WhatsApp me and expect me to reply, dicknuts.
Here’s one final shining example of a guy who will never, ever, get a booking with me. TBH if I’d realised it was the same guys on some of these occasions, the reply would have been a lot more scathing. He’s now blocked, obviously.
Here’s a great example of what to text me:
See what John did there? He read my auto reply, and then followed the instructions. Name, day and time preferred and what service he wanted. We ended up having a great session together and he will be welcome back any time.
Don’t be a twat. Be like John.
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